Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
