I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
