who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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