She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
