I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
