All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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