Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
