1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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