Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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