hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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