Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
