do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
