Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
