he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
