I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
