A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize