That's intense
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Randomize
