My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We got so high we made milksteak
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
