We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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