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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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