just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Boobs speak an international language.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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