Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
