I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
