I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize