Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
