IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
