I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize