i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize