I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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