just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
