my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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