Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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