no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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