I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
