My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
