how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
