I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
