she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
