i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
