dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize