is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize