sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
