everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
