please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
