my vag is so smooth its legendary
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
