UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
