Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
