Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
