turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
