I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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