took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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