I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
