just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We're too hungover to prance.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
