Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
