so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
