am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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