Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
