my room smells like sperm. sweet.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
