Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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