I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
