it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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