everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
