never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
