Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
